Lately with the addition of Conner to our family I have found myself having less patience with Miss Bella.
I have found myself sighing more and resorting to multiple spankings instead of explaining and working or retraining.
Example:
Mommy, “Bella you may not whine, you will now get a spank for whining” {Spank Spank}
Bella, “wahhhurrrrr”
Mommy, “Bella you may not whine, you are receiving a spanking for whining” {spank spank}
This circle goes around and around.
(Not in a scary child abuse excessive way but, I believe you get the idea)
God has really been working on my heart in this area.
My motives behind discipline have been horribly off. How did I let it get this way? I am not sure when it happened but, I started wanting Bella to obey because it made Mommy’s life easier and more stress free.
Also, I wanted to her to respond to me in public because then I look like I have my ducks in a row.
As a Mother it is my job to work on discipline with Bella to build her character and train her up to serve the Lord, not to make her a nifty little tot to have around.
I need to also have patience with her.
She is full of childish thoughts and feelings.
Those need to be gently ironed out with love, patience and grace.
After much prayer I committed several things. One was, working on re-training Bella, not just resorting to discipline.
Example of this:
Bella, “Wahhh Cheese Mommyyyyy”
Me, “Isabella, are you whining? That is not a proper voice! Please ask me for what you need”
Bella “ wahhhhh cheese Mommy”
Me “Isabella if you can not use a proper voice I will have to discipline you.
Say Cheese please mommy and use a cheerful tone”
Bella “Please cheese Mommy” (In a happy tone)
Mommy “Bella, when you ask for something it needs to be in a pleasant tone, I will not reward you when you whine, that is not polite behavior…. Say Yes Mom”
Bella “Yeah-es Ma”
Yes, this is really how I speak to my daughter… pretty much word for word We will repeat this until she does it correctly. I realized I wanted to re-train the whine behavior. I didn’t just want it to stop because it hurt my ears but, I thought to myself I need to actually retrain how she is speaking. Spankings alone, even when explained didn’t seem to work.
My heart was not seeking her best interest. It was looking for the easy fix and in parenting there is not one.
I have to be willing to invest the time it might take to stand there and go over and over good behavior until it happens.
Isn’t that the way it is with God… he gives us example after example in his word of what Christ-like behavior is.
It is difficult for me to remember to take what I see in the word and apply right here… right now.
I keep coming back to the verse
Ephesians 5:1 and 2
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God
Praise the Lord for giving me forgiveness and the ability to turn over a new leaf in my parenting and get my priorities straight.
I want to give Isabella the best training possible and I can only do that by following the Lord with my whole heart.
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