My Journey In Loss Part 3

Moving On Yet, Remembering

Just because you have let go doesn't not guarantee immediate healing.
I have heard it said that it takes 9 months to carry a child and have them be born.
When you lose a child it takes that much for your heart to heal.
There were many ups and downs that first year for me.
I remember seeing other children and feeling that misty feeling in my eyes.
As I walked through the grocery store I saw other women struggling with their children and snapping at them, so clearly I remember thinking
"That child is a gift, if only you knew.... if only you could see that"
Sometimes when your wound is healing it can be the smallest things that re-open that.
You learn to ride the waves of grief that appear and keep God clearly in focus.
He is your Savior, the life-raft that brings you safely through the storm.


In all things I give praise and thanks for where he has brought me, and where I will be taken.
It can be so easy to allow the pain to over-ride us. But, even though we are able to grieve, we should never ever let the pain pull us down and engulf us. We are not without hope.
No matter how we might feel, on the other side we will all be reunited and able to rejoice in heaven.

When your child is called home early, be it at 10 weeks, 38 weeks or so many years.... they are called to serve our father in heaven.
My child never broke a bone, never felt pain or was ridiculed. he is where I want to be, honoring Christ in heaven and that was his purpose.
He was created to serve God and that is what he is doing.
Even now, my eyes fill with happy tears thinking of my strong boy waiting for me in heaven.
Thank you God for this blessing!

I feel that I have come a long way over the years and now feel fully healed.
My son would be 4 next year.
Every year I do something special to remember him.

Last year we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. We named her Isabella, and that means gift from God and that, she truly is.
I look at this little person who is learning and growing and am more thankful than I can ever express in words.
I love this little girl, and I pray every day that as her mother I can show her a world where God is worshiped and obeyed.
The Lord gives us strength for all things so as I face this I know he will guide me as I walk this path. He will never leave me or forsake me and that is the promise I rest in.