I'm Only Being Honest.....

God has been bringing me into a new awareness of something in the recent days. I am guilty of not speaking my mind. When I say this please do not picture the cranky woman in a movie sassing everyone around her to pieces. What I speak about is when I see a friend who could bring peace to her home by speaking in a gentle voice to her children I remain silent, The friend who tears down her husband in public, or is lost in a world of bad finance decision, I don't speak up. These are all situations that flutter though my mind as I am being molded and corrected by God this week.
In the past I've balked and cried "Well, I want to always be loving we are called to love and there are so many judgmental Christians around"

What is the biblical definition of love?

Love must be sincere hate what is evil and cling to what is good

Romans 12:9

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

1st Corinthians 13:4-5

 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1st John 4:18 

So in this light, when I hold back from sharing a truth that might set someone free or be honest with them when they talk with me I am caring more for myself than I am for them. Stick with me and let's watch  this add up.
My fear keeps me from honesty, in that moment I care more about their potential reaction and my suffering because of it rather than speaking the truth lovingly. I am living in fear, not being sincere, dishonoring, not living in faith and not being kind.

Recently, a friend of mine saw me open a door in our conversation and gently walked through it with her words. "Melissa" she said, "since school has begun you've changed and I see a lack of peace in your life. In the summer you had clarity and focus but, now you seem almost frantic" 

I was totally open and agreed with her observations. 

The reliance she had on the Holy Spirit meant that when the time was right he prompted her to speak. She stepped out and obeyed. I am sure the desire of "How will Melissa react" was there lingering in the background. However, that brings me to another thought, once she spoke the truth in love she was not responsible for my reaction. You are responsible for speaking in love and listening for God to prompt you but, not for the other person's response.... wrathful or accepting. You and I need to be ok with not people pleasing. At this point we've traveled back to that root sin again having a desire to please men over desire to please God and living in fear about it.

The complete and total realization of this blew me over. 
Thank goodness, I serve a God who is ok with me not getting it right the first time. He is abundant in mercy and overflowing with love for each one of us. 
 So this morning as I listened to 

 James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, 

who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I first repented of this sin, and then asked for his wisdom in the areas of my life where this may play out. The need is great for us to speak the truth but, it must be done in love at the right moment.  Allow your ears to be tuned to his frequency and listen to that voice. He's just waiting to change you and me into his image.Change is not always easy and I am finding this week, it HURTS quite a bit. I know as my life weaves on it will mean sweet blessings.