Five years ago today, I found out my son was dead.
Around 48 hours later he was placed in my arms,
still warm from his home in the womb.
His limbs did not move, nor did eyes open
He was cradled and prayers were given as we said goodbye.
Each year, at this time, I can be found writing, thinking and praying about him.
I try and honor his memory in some small way.
I am not stuck in a rut of misery, nor am I unable to let go of the past.
Long ago, I accepted his death and counted it joy.
(He is serving his Father in heaven after all)
I write and remember because as his Mom I want his life to count.
Each mother feels this way about her child.
They want their life to have meaning.
Some desire a daughter to be a doctor
One sees the future of a missionary in their young son's eyes
still others see them as a shining student at Bible College.
Whatever it might be, they want their children to MEAN SOMETHING.
If you say goodbye to a child early there is the feeling that their life meant nothing.
When anyone passes, they leave a hole in the life behind them.
With a child though, there is no loss of what they were, there is only the loss of what ifs.
Occasionally, even after five years,
the angst of his life meaning nothing creeps in.
Then, I am surrounded by the comfort of the
almighty God who is so tender and merciful to us all.
I am reminded that, his life counted for everything.
He is where I want to be.
It is as though we are all in line for an amazing musical,
and his place in line was bumped up to get in earlier.
While I, am outside waiting still.
He is serving God!
He is serving God along with many other children called home early.
Their lives do not count for nothing,
because we have hope,
because we have the light of salvation
We need not fear death, be it the death of our children, our parents or dear friends
If they trust in their Savior they will live eternally with him.
That is the effect my Son had on me!
He made me realize what an awesome God I serve
and that makes me proud to be his Mother.
Around 48 hours later he was placed in my arms,
still warm from his home in the womb.
His limbs did not move, nor did eyes open
He was cradled and prayers were given as we said goodbye.
Each year, at this time, I can be found writing, thinking and praying about him.
I try and honor his memory in some small way.
I am not stuck in a rut of misery, nor am I unable to let go of the past.
Long ago, I accepted his death and counted it joy.
(He is serving his Father in heaven after all)
I write and remember because as his Mom I want his life to count.
Each mother feels this way about her child.
They want their life to have meaning.
Some desire a daughter to be a doctor
One sees the future of a missionary in their young son's eyes
still others see them as a shining student at Bible College.
Whatever it might be, they want their children to MEAN SOMETHING.
If you say goodbye to a child early there is the feeling that their life meant nothing.
When anyone passes, they leave a hole in the life behind them.
With a child though, there is no loss of what they were, there is only the loss of what ifs.
Occasionally, even after five years,
the angst of his life meaning nothing creeps in.
Then, I am surrounded by the comfort of the
almighty God who is so tender and merciful to us all.
I am reminded that, his life counted for everything.
He is where I want to be.
It is as though we are all in line for an amazing musical,
and his place in line was bumped up to get in earlier.
While I, am outside waiting still.
He is serving God!
He is serving God along with many other children called home early.
Their lives do not count for nothing,
because we have hope,
because we have the light of salvation
We need not fear death, be it the death of our children, our parents or dear friends
If they trust in their Savior they will live eternally with him.
That is the effect my Son had on me!
He made me realize what an awesome God I serve
and that makes me proud to be his Mother.
That is his legacy.
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| Alexander Joseph |
1 comment:
beautiful mel. thank you for sharing your thoughts and faith.
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